The Life and Times of a Fishing Guru
by Shameless-Ceyt
Summary: A side story in Katnoelle's 'Life and Times of a Cat Herder', based on a conversation between the strange Gerudian and the enigmatic Hylian and a deviant little question. Who says Gerudians can't fish? Read Katnoelle's story before reading. Small LinkOC.


This is a little story of a story that my friend made, Life and Times of a Cat Herder. You kind of have to read it in order to understand this little ditty of a story, is all. And... hmm, well, to continue Katnoelle's little song loving thing, I suggest listening to 'Love Can Damage Your Health' by Télépopmusik or 'Reset' by Ayaka Hirahara! I like those songs. You should listen to them, too.

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The burning afternoon air stifled Central, capital of Gerudo.

Unfortunately for the residents of a certain large mansion in midtown, young Ceyt immediately found reason to poke at them all. _Christ_, Link thought, endeavoring to pay attention to what Korzhi was doing to his right hand and not whatever antics the young one played at presently.

"NYYAAOORRAAN!!" she bellowed in a nauseatingly high-pitched voice, ignoring the growls and glares filling the backyard.

The group, consisting of Korzhi-her sister- and Lene, Arji, Akyllee, Arychan with her Hylian love-slave Ethyr, and Link (watching silently as usual), all stood on the back patio of Korzhi's house, prepared to bet on how long Ceyt's strange escapade would end. Currently, she danced around the water pond, the fish fleeing from the young Gerudian's twirling and jumping, splashing water over the patio.

-None of which settled too well on the Hylian- that is, the one without the uke-complex. His eyes flashed in irritation at Ceyt, who either noticed not or cared not. Instead she continued to dance, round and round…

"Nya, Korr, what if I suddenly grew out _ears_?!" she asked her sister- the grumpy, redheaded girl nearest to her, "and then a black _taaaill_?!"

"You wouldn't be Gerudian, Ceyt," she told her. Her red-haired little sister gasped dramatically, much to almost everyone's displeasure.

"Nyuu... That would be baad, nyu..." she said to Korzhi, who merely shrugged in response. Trying to calm down the sugar-high person was not exactly her forté; instead, she said nothing and fiddled with Link's hands next to her. She would much rather see Ceyt finally calming down, seeing a good man, getting a good-

Hmph. Definitely not her forté. Having this person as a blood relative often proved quite troublesome- _especially_ if she continued dancing around the pond like some crazy hippie woman asking for some rain from the gods above. Or, in another case, begging random passersby to prevent an enormous flood. But, then again, that would be another story.

Korzhi had an idea, then. A crazy one, yes, but it might just calm down the hyper Gerudian.

She turned to Link, a smile spreading across her face with alarming speed. "Hey, Link?"

He turned to her, eyebrows raised, waiting for her to ask a question. Something about her smile advised him to keep his guard up.

"Have you actually had a real conversation with Ceyt yet?"

Lene's drink spurted out from his nose.

"Are you serious?!" Link hissed, but Korzhi held out a hand to make him silent.

Arychan's face contorted with mirth, while Arji's portrayed concerned face clouding her complexion. Akyllee tried her hardest not to giggle, and Ethyr's face remained completely blank, as usual. Was it because of some mental scarring from Ceyt?

...nah.

Jesus, this girl obviously had some scary-ass shit in that scatterbrained noggin of hers. He'd become aware of this since the day he'd first seen her.

"Oooh, Korr, watcha talkin' bout? Nyaa?"

Link continued to stare at Korzhi, waiting... hoping... wishing to GOD she was only kidding.

"Link here wants to hear some stories from you. How 'bout you do just that, hmm?"

God, his only help here just gave him to the hellhounds. The poor hero could only emit a faint whimper before Ceyt pounced upon him.

"Ooooh, yay! FUN!" she squealed loudly in his ear; he could even hear her _smile_. Was that good or bad in his current position? Was he becoming a synesthesiac like Korzhi? _God_, he hoped not- hmm. _Calm down_. Maybe he could distract her-

".. Fish?" he asked quietly, and she frowned.

"Hmm, wussat, Link-nya?"

Would that actually be a nickname for him?

"Do you like to fish?" he asked Ceyt. Lene's drink flew everywhere again, and the whole group guffawed awkwardly. Obviously he was missing out on something…

"Fishing? Are you serious? Ceyt hates it! She just likes to swim, Link!" Arychan could hardly get the words out from laughing so hard.

Ceyt's face fell, and she stepped off of Link without a word. "I..."

"Hmm?"

"I... I like fishing..."

Silence descended over the backyard of Korzhi's not-so-humble abode.

Link's face showed relief, and he nervously smiled. "You do, do you?"

"Yeah..." _Good_. _Just _stay_ offa me…_

"What's your favorite fish to catch?"

"Umm... T-Tilapia." She murmured out, and ran to the garage in a hurry.

Silence continued to permeate the patio area.

"Holy..." Ethyr murmured out, and stared at Link. "I never knew _that_ about Ceyt."

"Amazingly, enough," Korr gasped, "neither did I. For God's sake, we've lived in desert so long…"

The thrashing sound emanating from the garage continued for a second longer, and finally, Ceyt came out of the place carrying a worn-out but beautiful fishing rod. Link nearly gaped in awe.

Pure white paint actually adorned the pole itself, little scratches slightly dulling its purity and simple grace. The string itself, though, was silver, unlike the normal kind- measly clear color. But the hook...

The hook glistened with the most charisma of all. A work of true beauty, it was carved- probably by hand, as it had some jagged ends like all homemade work. Link nodded to himself; it had probably been hard to make. Handling metal, especially for something so small and powerful as necessary in a fishing hook, required vast skill. With the crest in the form of gleaming ribbons, the hook gleamed at him in a way so lifelike, it begged Link for usage. _It calls to you, boy…_ just like everything else. Bow and arrows, the pretty Zuka shotgun, the magic armor… this had happened before…

"This..." Ceyt smiled, and walked towards Link with the rod held out, "is my masterpiece; the Snow White Mach 2. The hook was a bitch to make... but the top makes it so that it spins slightly while it descends. Not as good as the Marlin Master; I had to give that baby up to mend loose ends with a person."

She held out the rod to Link, and smiled so wide it seemed to swallow her entire face.

_You received the 'Snow White Mach 2'! _Link's attention span escaped the stupid voice in his head for once in his life. He could only look back and forth between Ceyt and the rod. It simply hadn't occurred to him that Ceyt, out of anyone in the entire world, was a fisherwoman, and a creator of some damn fine rods, to boot- and she had no problem with _giving up_ a masterpiece to a person she could hardly know, much less trust! Was he not simply a slave now that Korzhi had brought him to Gerudo, even if she intended to eventually release him?!

"Why?..."

"Because, out of everyone I've ever met, you actually found out about my love of fishing, first... nya..."

Link continued to gape at the gorgeous fishing rod. Ceyt, with her ever-short patience levels, snapped quickly from the silence. Her associates on the patio were not exactly helping.

"Go on, stupid, TRY IT OUT!" She picked him up by the shoulders (_Why do all Gerudians have to be such sumo wrestlers_?! his mind reeled) and pushed him towards the pond that held some pretty kick-ass fish. C'mon, you all know it; there HAS to be kick-ass fish for Link's fishing sense to go off.

"Nyyyaaaoooraaan, Link-nya is pretty cool..."

"Ceyt, whatever happened to being weird and crazy instead of nice and helpful?" Korr asked her with an eyebrow raised, much like Link before.

Her sister's smiled widened.

'Ho shite...'

"NYYYAAAAOORAAAN!! AKYLLEE-NYA!!!" Ceyt screamed to the slightly older woman farthest from her before tackling her to the ground in slightly less than half a second. She continued her escapade by tackling the closest person next to Akyllee, and so on...

Meanwhile, Link happily whistled a song he'd known all his life, wishing Epona could hear her special song despite the distance between them.

As the hours passed, the groovy gang eventually went to sleep, bruises and fishing ever present their minds. However, one sole person went to sleep dreaming of drinking holy water. "Holy Water" meaning a healthy sugar and margarita mix ingested on a daily basis. Some tequila a day keeps the doctor away, right? RIGHT? Ceyt argued this concept with herself as the night wore on.

Ah, the life and times of a fishing guru...

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So, do you like? Then continue reading Life and Times of a Cat Herder. I shall read, too, or else Miss Katnoelle will staaaab me...

X3

Review?


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